Beck and Call

Bring dinner home.
Better pick the right place.

If dinner was made,
Best bring high praise.

If praise is not believed,
Better be convincing (even if lying).

“Oh you didn’t like it?”
Prepare for pitty party.

Don’t speak your mind.
Don’t want to hear it
– unless to say how wonderful I am.

Be snarky, it’s great fun,
But only about the approved list
(it’s easy after all; find fault in someone else)

Sex? No not tonight. (tomorrow, this week, month, or year)
Best not talk about it at all.

Healthy? Of course!
Don’t mind the moans, groans, wheezes, and weakness.

Ignore the mess.
It’s normal, every house is like this.

Plan the party, build it up, dream big!
No it won’t happen – That takes too much work.

Work? Oh work is the worst. Want to hear what its really like to be the victim?

Problems? None whatsoever!
Denial cures all.

Buckle up, I have a heap of sorrow coming your way.
You’d better be ready to eat it.

Wait.. have an Oreo instead.
It tastes so much better, but kills you just the same.